“You guys kind of look alike” -The barista said to my brother and me.
“Well… funny you say that, we are long-lost brothers who just found each other on Facebook,” I muttered.
“NO WAY!!!” she exclaimed.
At first, she was surprised and started talking about how she had heard about people like this finding family members on Facebook; but then she realized it was a bit and we were pulling her leg.
The bit/the bullshit is a fun way to break the ice. I also think about it as a mechanism to get people off auto-response of “how you doing? good, good”. (the good/good exchange doesn't cut it for me)
Do you know what does cut it? A well-crafted espresso.
I believe that Coffee, Tea, a drink, food, a walk, sunsets, ETC. are all mechanisms for spending time in relationships. Sometimes that relationship is with self and others with one another. The point is, it’s not always about “the thing” but more so about the company.
At the beginning of the conversation, My brother and I caught up; we joked back and forth and discussed summer plans. (all essential elements to a relationship)
Then the conversation turned into a serendipitous swim into spirituality and the great unknown. Meaning, the conversation left the surface.
I expressed to him that I had pretty low mental health the other day. (confusion, no real get-and-go, unusual anxiousness) Twas odd. I tried breathwork, cleaning, and even went for a run. The blueprint that’s supposed to squash mental fog. None of them seemed to wipe away the dark cloud that was overlooming my noggin.
I feel obliged to be productive. Whether it’s a creative project, working out, or organizing something around the house, my mind craves the feeling of accomplishment. Otherwise, I get trapped in the narrative that I’m lazy.
But, the season of summer is painting a new relationship for productivity and what it “has to look like.” I’m going through some growing pains in my understanding of my energy specifically in the realm of productivity.
For me, productivity is looking like prioritizing creative projects and doubling down on relationships/community/friendships.
Summer has been screaming two things into my life. Movies and Relationships.
Let me explain.
Movies speak to me. Their ability to transport, communicate, and move people has always energized me. I go through times in my life when I binge movies and other times when I won’t turn on my TV for a couple of months. It’s just my natural pattern of producing vs. consuming.
For me, you can’t beat a late-night summer flick. I just saw Inside Out 2 and that movie was flat-out phenomenal. Pixar’s ability to design for a younger demographic and create for an older one is captivating. The puns, wit, and overall use of the story had me in awe. The ability to convey a powerful message and use animation as a visual road map to showcase emotions led me to reflect on my own human experience.
I don’t want to spoil anything in the movie so all I’ll say is go watch it… in theatres. It’s WORTH it.
For me, relationships include co-creators, friends, new friends, family, and cat. Because I’m traveling a good amount for this documentary film right now when I’m home I want to prioritize hangouts and make sure I'm nurturing my relationships.
My brother was honest with a lot of his feelings. “I feel like something is shifting inside of me and I think it has to do with worth.”
First off, bravo to my brother who is asking himself these sorts of questions at 21 years old. Second, the ability to communicate and be honest about feelings is not easy.
This opened up a whole can of worms related to worth.
Where does worth come from? And how does it play a massive role in our lives?
If I were a pastor, I’d say “Our worth comes from who we are in Christ.” But I’m not a pastor. Not to say I disagree with the statement, but I want to zoom out and offer a different perspective.
I see worth as the interplay between intrinsic values and external perceptions. The intrinsic are personal values, skills, and achievements that provide a sense of fulfillment. The external perceptions are shaped by societal values, cultural norms, and the recognition or validation from others.
My internal worth pendulum swings and sometimes I see myself crave validation from others. Hence why there is a subscribe now button right below.
For me, it’s important to remind myself to put more mental/ emotional energy into intrinsic values than external perceptions. On a practical level, this looks like knowing my values as a human, getting better at my skills, and finding joy in developing myself.
Worth is dynamic and multifaceted. I think we need practices that ground us so we can be reminded of our values and our internal worth before being swayed in the external world.
I close this week’s newsletter with this:
Worth as a human doesn’t come from what you do, but from who you are.
YOU are inherently worthy.
Go watch Inside Out 2 and let me know what you think!
send this newsletter to a friend if you enjoyed it!
be well,
Fletch
Favorite one yet!