I’m going to tell you one of my BIG secrets.
When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was be miniature.
After watching Honey I Shrunk the Kids and Stuart Little I decided that being that small must be the coolest things. The backyard grass becomes a giant forest, lily pads are trampolines and you can Tarzan down tree branches. What a life.
My brother and I shared this passion for miniatures and as youngsters we constructed a full city underneath our bed called The Underground Village.
This urge to be minature wasn’t just a phase…It stayed with me throughout middle school where 90% of my downloaded videos on my iPod classic were mice surfing. Swear on my life.
Just in case you need to scratch the itch.
My large desire to be small led me to buy two mice freshman year of college. I also was missing my pets back home and was trying to fill that void. There was a strict no-pet policy in my dorm. I did not see them as pets though…
They were just my low-price emotional support mice.
Unfortunately, my roommate at the time was rather neurotic and murdered my mice through duck taping their cage and putting Adderal in their water. I choose not to press charges. I just wanted a new roommate and a proper burial for chocolate and vanilla.
I sent a well-crafted E-vite for the burial of my furry friends. No one came… except my buddy named Henry.
Because of their lineage, I decided a Viking burial would be best for the mice.
I wrapped them up, made a makeshift origami boat, then set it on fire.
It looked something like this. (300 violin orchestra playing in the background)
My desire to be miniature has lessened and I believe that ship has sailed.
But I have learned more and more how wants/desires get expressed; whether we are conscious of it or not our behaviors are always trying to satisfy our wants/desires.
Wants/desires and needs. They are what make us human. Wants are different than needs. The basic needs are food/water/sleep/friendship/security/and coffee. (then shelter) There are Physiological Needs, Safety and Security Needs, Social Needs, Esteem Needs.. the list goes on.
I saw an explanation for needs, wants, and desires like this from this website.
The need is the bread.
Want is the preference for bread (rye, sourdough, whole grain)
Desire is toasted with Jam/ butter and all the stuff.
As we grow, understanding the interplay between wants, needs, and desires is essential for personal development and overall well-being.
“When you give energy to a want, then it becomes a desire” -unkown
For the sake of this article, I want to focus on wants.
Want - as in to crave; reflecting individual preferences or aspirations for enhancing the quality of life.
Your wants are what make YOU…..YOU
Your wants make your experience YOURS.
Whether you're aware of it or not you have wants.
Sometimes the wants are conscious and you are clear on your wants, other times a want can illuminate a place in your life you're trying to overcompensate.
The trick is to understand your wants at a root level.
Here is an example.
Rick and Steve both want a Lamborgini.
Rick wants one because in his head he believes that once he gets this car, he’ll be happy and will finally attract the girl of his dreams.
Steve wants one because ever since he was a kid he has been fascinated with cars and enjoys nothing more than going fast.
Both want the same car, but they serve a completely different purpose. For Rick, it’s masking an insecurity and for Steve, it’s purely to enjoy.
If that example didn’t land. Here is one more that’s a little more raw/ personal.
I want to write a book. The action I’m taking right now is publishing this newsletter to get better at writing.
Being painfully honest with your wants and then going a bit deeper to understand why it is you want that.
We live in a culture that tells us what to want to guarantee success/happiness. (A certain job, a certain life.)
I say screw that, go write your own playbook and figure out what you want and what brings YOU joy. No shame!
Now as I exit my minature soapbox here is a recap.
I once desired to be miniature (but I have let that go)
Mice surfing is still epic
Needs are essential, wants are preferences, and desires are thoughts you are unable to let go of.
Wants/Desires are NOT BAD. They are incredible and help guide you to design your life.
MAKE A LIST OF YOUR WANTS!
Once you get clear on your wants, align your behaviors
“We’re all looking for meaning, but it’s often lost behind a hedge of distractions, hurts, and disappointments.” -Bobb Goff
As always, thanks for reading!
Be well,
Fletch